The Corporate Weather Network provides satirical forecasts of workplace conditions. All predictions are based on observable patterns in organizational behaviour.
Meeting Storm Season Declaration
The Corporate Weather Network officially declares the start of Meeting Storm Season. Conditions have met the threshold for seasonal declaration: meeting density has exceeded 60% of available working hours in the affected region, back-to-back scheduling is widespread, and the phrase "I'm slammed with meetings" has been heard in three or more conversations in a single day.
Storm characteristics
Category 1 (Moderate): Meeting density between 40–60% of working hours. Focus time is limited but available. Manageable with good calendar hygiene.
Category 2 (Significant): Meeting density between 60–80% of working hours. Focus time requires active protection. Back-to-back scheduling is common. Actual work is being done before 8am and after 6pm.
Category 3 (Severe): Meeting density above 80% of working hours. Focus time is effectively unavailable during business hours. The meeting has become the work. Actual work is being done on weekends.
Category 4 (Extreme): Meeting density approaches 100%. The calendar is a solid block of colour. The person has not eaten lunch at their desk in three weeks. They are attending meetings about meetings. This is a workplace emergency.
Storm season triggers
Meeting Storm Season is typically triggered by one or more of the following: year-end planning, organizational restructuring, a new initiative that requires cross-functional coordination, or the gradual accumulation of recurring meetings that have never been cancelled.
Survival guidance
- Audit your calendar immediately. Cancel every recurring meeting that has reached Stage 5 of the seven stages.
- Decline optional meetings. You are allowed to do this.
- Block focus time before the storm intensifies. Treat it as a meeting with yourself.
- Propose asynchronous alternatives for meetings that are primarily information transfer.
Storm season duration: Meeting Storm Season typically lasts four to eight weeks, followed by a brief period of relative calm before the next trigger event. The Corporate Weather Network will issue an All-Clear when conditions return to baseline.